Saying Goodbye

Why is saying goodbye so hard? Well, in a normal day-to-day situation we don't think much of it. We say bye and walk away assuming we will be able to see a person again next time we want to see them. Most of the time that is true. Sometimes it isn't. When it comes to bigger goodbyes like moving away or watching a family member or friend who is near death, saying goodbye takes on a whole new meaning. It feels so, so... permanent.

Why is that? Why is it harder to say goodbye if we think we won't see someone for a long time or even ever again? It is because we love them that saying goodbye is hard. I could say goodbye to a stranger or acquaintance knowing I'd never see them again and it probably wouldn't be that big of a deal. However, when I say goodbye, especially a "bigger" goodbye, to someone I love it is very difficult.

What is the difference between the two? It is the love. When you choose to love someone you give them something but you keep that thing with you. How does that work, you ask? Well, when you, or I, love someone its like we give them a piece of our heart. But we keep it. It belongs to them because it is the part of our heart that loves them and once you give it it is always their piece but it is always yours because it is your love being given. I guess its maybe like the best way of sharing something. You both get it! Thankfully, our hearts can always grow and expand. There is no limit to how much we can love or how many people we can love!

The hard part comes when you may have to tell someone goodbye. Because once you have given love to someone you can't really take it back. I think some people try to at times, but my theory is that deep down that person always holds that piece of your heart and whether you say goodbye on good terms or bad, there is always still a place in your heart for that person no matter what you say or how you act. The piece may be filled with joy when you think of that person.... Or maybe some other emotion. But I don't think it can ever be completely gone because, like I said, it's your heart and your love but you have given it away and that part now belongs to them forever. You can't kick them out and give that piece to someone else. It doesn't work that way. When you choose to love someone new, your heart expands and makes more pieces to love more people. (Which is so cool when you relate this to the heart of God because just as we can grow more love, his infinite love is more perfect, more able to love more people! This is why He can love each person on earth and desire a relationship with each person! Oh how He loves!)

So, why all the talk on love and goodbyes? Because this week some dear friends of mine are moving most of their family from our town in Kentucky to Nicaragua. Think on that a minute. Nicaragua. An entirely different country!! For how long? Only God knows. Literally. So, it's been a long lead up (because we've known for a year now that this is coming) to several hard, tear-filled, gut-wrenching days of goodbyes. They leave tomorrow. So yes it was a "big" goodbye. Yes, as their son said, part of my heart is now going to Nicaragua. I have no idea when/if I'll see them again on earth. Really though, that is true of every goodbye, whether big or small. We are never given assurance of tomorrow or even the next moment.

So I am left here with grief. But because my friends and I share a love for Jesus Christ I am also left with hope. Hope that I will see them again. Hopefully on earth but if not, then in eternity. Hope that both they and I are going to be able to love more people. Hope that through their lives, God is going to be able to move in the lives and hearts of the people of Nicaragua! Hope that the pain I feel in saying goodbye is worth it because of the joy of knowing and sharing life with these dear friends! (And thankfully because of this today's technology, staying in touch won't be too difficult!)

Today I spent a lot of time pondering the quote "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." For most of the day I wasn't sure i believed it was true. But after collecting all my thoughts here I have realized that yes, choosing to love can be risky... and even painful at times. But it is, oh, so worth it for the joy of sharing love!