Assume Goodwill

I first heard this term at a ladies retreat our church held a few years ago. One of our elder's wives gave a talk on relationships and friendships and how important it is to assume goodwill towards other people. I have found this to be so true and so valuable!
What does it mean to "assume goodwill?" It is choosing to assume the best about people. To assume the best about their intentions and actions, especially as they pertain to you.
In college I lived in a house with a few other girls and we had house parents that were around daily. One night, a roommate and I went out with a group of people and came home late in the night to find the rest of our roommates and our house mom still up waiting for us. Apparently we had hurt their feelings by not inviting them to come along. We then, in the wee hours had a big talk about including people in things you do. That left me with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth as I told myself "What are they thinking? You can't invite everyone to everything! We didn't even plan that outing. We were just invited!" (The mind justifies what the heart has chosen, right?)
To an extent I see that that still holds true. Practically, is it feasible to invite everyone to everything? Well, no. You can't always do that. But could you be more willing to open it up to more people? Maybe. Probably. Could I? Almost without a doubt, yes.
In recent time I have realized that I do not want to be held to that standard. I do not want to be responsible to include more people, when it is appropriate. (Obviously, there has to be certain times when you do thinks with specific people). Anyway, back I what I was saying. I like to be "comfortable" "in my group." Long story short, selfish, self-centered me wants to not have to include more people in things I do with friends, but I never want left out of what they do. How awful is that? Talk about a double-standard.
How does that relate to assuming goodwill? Well, when in a situation where there is the opportunity for me to have my feelings hurt, I can CHOOSE to assume goodwill. And it is a choice. And one I may need to choose multiple times in a situation. I can remind myself that it really is okay if I'm not included in everything that my friends do! It really is ok for them to do things together and not always include me. I can assume goodwill.
I had a friend who tried to work something out with me one time. She apologized for something I hadn't even known about. I told her I forgave her, but I let bad feelings and resentment creep in over time and for about a year, things between us were never right. I finally felt convicted by my attitude and went and worked it out again- from my side this time. Things have been much better since. But what if I had told myself to assume goodwill? If I had chosen that better road, I would not have lost out on a year of that great friendship.
I also see that assuming goodwill applies a lot to how I view they way other people do things or run their families. I see so much of, what I call, "competitive parenting" these days. Where my way, my view, my reasons are the best and only and right way to parent. How brash! How disgusting to think of ourselves so highly! Bottom line, if parents are seeking God (and counsel if needed), then my opinion of how they run their family shouldn't matter in the least. Parent how you want, eat how you want, discipline how you want. (I would say, as long as it is in line with what God says about those things in the Bible.) When I find myself feeling judgmental towards other because I would do things differently in my home, I need to assume goodwill! They are trying there best at this parenting thing too! And everyone needs room to live according to their own convictions and preferences. When I feel that others are judging me because of how we have chosen to run our family/household, I need to assume goodwill! They may see things differently but I shouldn't assume they are thinking negatively towards me!
Jesus was all about relationships and His whole life on earth was literally made and given to bring "Peace on earth and goodwill to men!" All so He could have a relationship with us! Think how much He assumed goodwill towards us in our sin! How much more should I freely and joyfully extend that to others!